Week 15 - sprained foot + quarantine pt. 2

Hola hola hermanassss

I’ve been in quarantine all week so I’m barely alive right now and it’s been a really big mental battle. But yea most of this week was honestly just my brain not working. The other day we had a member lesson and I was like “Christ's church is built off of the foundation of postles and aprophets.” and didn’t even realize what I had said until a few minutes later. Luckily I don’t think she was paying attention to our lesson anyways.

1. Welcome to Missionary Work

2. Zoom council

3. Sprained Foot / Spiritual Rant

1) Welcome to missionary work

So, this week was rough. Most of my journal entries in weeks previous start off with “well today was pretty good” but literally everyone this week was “today sucked” haha. I had some low points for sure, but it was a good experience. So most of what we did this week was trying to message people on facebook. So I was sending tons of messages out and after a couple hours of not getting any responses I flipped. I just shouted “What is the point of this?! I’m wasting precious time! All I’m doing is reaching out to people and nobody is responding!”. 

Then, Elder Bowles (been out about 20 months), being a veteran and quite used to the labors of the mission field, heard my cry and ran into the room I was in. He looked at me, smiled, clapped his hands together and said “Elder Wride, welcome...to missionary work.”. 

Honestly that was pretty funny. I have to remember that I’m not the only one who’s struggling with this. It is kinda wild how you spend all day every day just trying to find people to teach and baptize but only see the results from it every couple months. Missionary work is hard!

2) Zoom Council 

So, it’s honestly pretty dumb. Me and my comp are quarantined, but the ZL’s who live in our apt aren’t. But if we have covid, they definitely have it, so anyways it’s just kind of irritating. Especially since we definitely do not have covid. We’re pretty sure Cassandra (who supposedly gave us covid) was lying and said she had covid just to keep us from coming back, because we’ve called her every day since quarantine and she’s never answered. There’s other details too I could add that attest to this hypothesis, but the whole thing just seems kinda fishy. So we’re basically in quarantine for no reason. We had district council this week, which is an in-person thing, but everybody was in person except me and Elder Morgan, who they zoomed in. It was pretty funny honestly. They started off by singing a hymn so we sang as loud as we could through the phone and then they muted us. 

3) Sprained Foot

This is a sad story. Okay I know you’re all thinking: “Elder Wride! How did you sprain your foot while being under quarantine?”. Well the truth is, I was trying to moonwalk while in the shower and slipped.

Jk that’s not it. So since we 99.9% do not have covid, we texted our mission nurse and asked if we could leave quarantine early. She said no (in a really nice way), but we were exhausted not seeing sunlight for many days, so we decided to go throw the frisbee in a secluded area and wear our masks. That way we could get some fresh air and not run the risk of “contaminating” anyone. So we were throwing the frisbee in an empty parking garage by our apt and Elder Morgan, bless his heart, threw the frisbee kinda straight at the ground. So it was skrrting across the pavement and I stuck my foot out to stop it and then slipped, rolled my ankle, did the splits, and fell onto the concrete. Boy that hurt. I am a man, so no tears were spilt, but I was in a lot of pain. 

So, we contacted our mission nurse. It was just funny because literally an hour before we were like “hey can we leave our apartment” and she was like “no” and then we text her right after and are like “so we were outside and…” haha. Anyways, she wasn’t mad don’t worry (she’s honestly the nicest person ever), we just felt pretty stupid. 

But I was in tons of pain. I was moaning and yapping in ferb latin on the couch for the remainder of the day and none of the Elders had sympathy. We still had lessons scheduled though, but our nurse said to keep it elevated and iced so we’d be at our desk doing a zoom call and my right leg is just chillin off the screen. 

But, fun fact, we have the priesthood! I found out Elder Morgan has the gift of healing, so he gave me a priesthood blessing. I was pretty emotional. He commanded my foot to heal and instantly as he did that it felt like a bucket of spiritual water got dumped from the top of my head where his hands were and down into my foot. He also said some other cool stuff in the blessing, one of them being that I “am being watched and cared for by many” or something to that extent. Thought that was cool too because my patriarchal blessing touches on something similar to that, and unless he’s been secretly reading mine at night, he wouldn’t have known that. He also blessed me to be able to see beyond the veil more so idk what that means but we’ll see.

After the blessing, I expected my foot to be totally healed, and thought I was gonna skip off into the sunset praising the Lord or whatever. But, immediately after the blessing, it felt almost exactly the same. I could now limp a bit better instead of crawl haha, but it felt the same. I was devastated. I cried on the couch for a bit haha. It just broke my heart to feel like God wasn’t keeping his promises. I’m not the most patient person, so it was a good experience for me. 

But now, two days later, my foot feels almost 100% healed. I had some epsom salt so the day after the blessing I soaked my entire foot in a trash can I filled with water and epsom salt haha. The Lord will provide blessings, but ya know you gotta do all you can as well. I wasn’t gonna just wait for the Lord to fix it, I was gonna do everything I could. But yea, point is, the blessing worked. I kid you not that my foot was sprained or something. We talked to a member about it too and she said that based on the sound/looks of it, it might have even been a fracture so…

And who knows, maybe if I hadn’t had the blessing my foot would have healed anyways, but I’m gonna choose to believe that this was divine haha. I can’t expect the Lord to show me greater miracles if I don’t believe the simple ones he’s giving. 

Reminds me a bit of satan ya know. At the beginning of 3 Nephi, all of these miracles and whatnot are going on, but people aren’t believing them! It’s pretty dumb honestly. You’d think that obvious miracles (such as no darkness for three days in 3 Nephi as a sign of Christ’s birth) would just prove to the whole world that Jesus is the Christ, but no!

3 Nephi 1:22 says 

“22 And it came to pass that from this time forth there began to be lyings sent forth among the people, by Satan, to harden their hearts, to the intent that they might not believe in those signs and wonders which they had seen;”

(also see Helaman 16:22-23, 3 Nephi 2:1-3 for more info on how satan tried to mess up these dudes lives).

Anyways, doubt, fear, disbelief, stubbornness, all of these things come from satan. Wake up fellas! Stop letting Satan prevail in your life! President Nelson said to “Let God Prevail”, not “Let Satan, the Author of Misery, Prevail”. It blows my mind sometimes at how quickly people choose Satan over God. We need to start practicing living God’s commandments now if we ever want to live with him presence again. And if you don’t believe in God, you need to wake up haha. Seriously, miracles everywhere. You think the world just one day blew up into existence? Does that make logical sense to you? Really? Atheists or whatever don’t believe in miracles, but if you ask about the big bang or whatever you know what their answer is? “Oh, well… it was a miracle! Now that doesn’t sound super smart does it. Thank goodness life one day just exploded into existence! It was always funny to me looking back in my science classes, and they would talk about some concept and be like “and if it weren’t without [such and such], life would collapse as we know it”. Whaaaattt??? There’s a million little things that we all depend on for our day to day survival, most of them which we don’t even realize or think about. And people believe that it just one day popped up? All of these intricate details and life sustaining things are just here. Now that is super lucky. A miracle one might say.

But no! There is a God! Everything attests to that statement. People, animals, life, all of this stuff is proof that God exists. Kinda like my boi Alma says in Alma 30:44-

“Thou hast had signs enough; will ye tempt your God? Will ye say, Show unto me a sign, when ye have the testimony of all these thy brethren, and also all the holy prophets? The scriptures are laid before thee, yea and all things denote there is a God; yea, even the earth, and all things that are upon the face of it, yea, and its motion, yea, and also all the planets which move in their regular form do witness that there is a Supreme Creator.”. 

Just saying y’all, God is 100% real. At the end of the day (at least for me personally), either the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is true, or God doesn’t exist. Thankfully I know that this church is true, for many reasons, that I wish I could expound on more. That doesn’t mean I have a perfect knowledge of that though. I wish I could be like the brother of Jared, who was completely past the point of believing, where he just absolutely knew without a shadow of a doubt, so much that he saw the finger of the Lord. As much as I wish I could know to that extent, I simply can’t right now. Reminds me of what I read in my personal study yesterday that really spoke to my soul. 

D&C 78:17-18

“17  Verily, verily, I say unto you, ye are little children, and ye have not as yet understood how great blessings the Father hath in his own hands and prepared for you;

18  And ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours.”

Just take a step back, breathe, and know that you can’t bear all things now. But, if you let the Lord prevail, he will lead you along. As you continue to practice putting your faith in him, you will see more. 

D&C 63:9

“But, behold, faith cometh not by signs, but signs follow those that believe.”

So that’s kind of my spiritual thought for the week as well. Just come on dudes! Let God Prevail! He will make so much more out of you than you ever could. This has been the pattern of my life. I want to go one way, and God wants me to go another. I remember praying for answers and getting them and then being PO’d because they weren’t the answers I wanted haha. But, when I choose to take the Lord’s path, I’m always better because of it. THE PATH OF DUTY IS ALSO THE PATH OF SAFETY. It’s my duty to be out serving our here as a missionary, but it’s also my source of protection. I’m preparing myself for a life full of dedicated service to my God. I’m learning now how to be a better son, and one day, father, husband (not in that order don’t worry), and one who is a true follower of Jesus Christ. 

That’s it for this week hermanas. If you made it this far, you deserve a gold star. Email me something nice if you can. If there is anything in here that is offensive to you, I apologize! I don't even remember what I said.

“Now I give no more unto you at this time. Gird up your loins and be sober. Even so. Amen.”     D&C 73:6

1) Me right before spraining my ankle

2) A pic I sent to the zone chat when I was bored of me and Elder Morgan

3) Meme

4) Cute pic

Week 14 - In Quarantine 😷

 Hey you guys

So I’m doing alright haha. This week was all really good until saturday when we got quarantined! Basically a lady we taught got tested positive for covid so now we’re stuck in our apartment. I’m pretty upset haha. We had a lot of good appointments/plans for next week and the week after that aren’t gonna happen. Basically me and my comp can’t leave our apartment for two weeks. Yesterday was our first full day in quarantine, and I about lost it. Spent part of the day in a cardboard box. I’ll attach photos. 

1. Wack Dreams

2. Ferb-Latin Crisis

3. This is President Bell

4. Lesson with the chick who gave us coronavirus

1. So apparently even since I’ve been here, I talk a ton in my sleep. Elder Morgan said at the beginning he just ignored it but now it’s waking him up. This was scary news to me, because I have such wack dreams and I don’t even want to know what kinda stuff comes out of my mouth while I’m asleep. For instance, the other day I had a dream that me, Elder Morgan, a guy we’re teaching, and my older brother were all Iron Man, but then Elder Morgan took the suit I wanted to wear and I got super triggered, and my brother Joe too told me just to deal with the suit I got and I was all mad. Eventually I accepted the suit they gave me, but the worst part was that they literally pushed me off the top of the building we were on to see if my suit was working. Like what in the world! So messed up! I could have died! They just knocked me off the building and I didn’t even know how to work the suit they made me wear. Luckily, I figured it out and flew. The next morning I was really upset with Elder Morgan but couldn’t remember why until I remembered that he took the Iron Man suit I wanted to wear. So my dreams are wack. Haha so as I was writing this I remembered that for a couple nights after I woke up I typed out my dream while it was still fresh. This is literally my dream entry for a few nights ago:

“i was like the flash and I was running around behind this car with blue lights and then I was Darth Vader and I cut off luke’s head but luke was a bad guy and there was this ship at the end with some yellow equipment and some depressed lady and we had to remake the yellow equipment”

It’s moments like these where I actually question my sanity. Anyways, I digress, but point is, I have some wack dreams, so when Elder Morgan said that I’ve been talking in my sleep I assumed the worst. Other than speaking straight nonsense, he said that one night I just was yapping in spanish. This was pretty neat actually! Looks like spanish is actually starting to get ingrained into my brain. 

The second thing he told me I said in my sleep I thought was super funny - so the past couple days I’ve been doing this P-90X type thing called “Insanity” by Beach Body. It’s freaking brutal. I actually hate it. As I was doing it yesterday a couple baby tears and naughty words slipped out. So my legs especially have been just super sore. This is funny too because a couple weeks back Elder Morgan’s legs were really sore from working out and I had absolutely no sympathy for him. We’d be walking and I’d be like “come on Elder man up” haha. So, karma baby! I was walking around like I was on stilts or something and my legs hurt SO BAD. Anyways, so while I was sleeping, Elder Morgan said I was just yelling “My legs hurt! My legs hurt!” haha. So that was exciting. They’re feeling a little bit better today, but yea my body is in a lot of pain. Especially since we got our flu shots the other day, and now my arm, and legs are sore. And my mind is kinda sore too being in quarantine. 

2. Okay so this past week we had a zone conference (in person) and met with like 3 other zones. Tons of missionaries. Me and the boys all rode down in our big van (Deb) and naturally, me and Elder P practiced Ferb Latin. A lot of other people have been practicing too. These two sister missionaries just came up to me and were like “elloherb” and I was way impressed. They said they’ve spent time practicing every night. Anyways, we’ve been speaking it a lot. Then at cemetery service the other day, we continued to practice. Tons of people are catching on, and literally our whole zone was speaking it. Except for some people that are getting absolutely triggered. Some people really just hate on Ferb Latin. Anyways, long story short, people were getting mad at the Ferb Latin speakers, and yesterday my district leader called us and said I need to chill with speaking it haha. So that was a bummer. I almost responded to him with “koerb” haha. Most people are cool with it, but yea some people just absolutely hate ferb latin.

3. Okay so this is a funny thing and I want especially all you missionaries to remember this-

So the other day I got a call from Lindell East (Elder Powell and Elder Pugsley). Everytime someone calls you and you call someone else, you say “This is Elder Wride and Elder Morgan” or whatever. So everytime we talk to any companionship we both introduce who’s speaking. So we got a call from Lindell, and we were like “This is Elder Wride and Elder Morgan” and then they said “This is Elder Powell Elder Pugsley and President Bell”. We just froze. Didn’t know what to say, because is our mission President actually on the other line? So we continued the conversation as mature as possible (no ferb latin was present) until we figured out that they were playing with us. But it’s a genius idea! So every once in a while when we talk to people we just throw in “President Bell” and it’s gets them every time. It’s especially funny when they say something dumb right of the bat. For instance, these one Elders the other day said, in a very high pitched voice  “holaaaaa hermanas! Somos misioneros por la iglesia de Jesucristo!” and we threw in the “President Bell” line and they just went quiet and throughout the call were being super awkward until they realized that President isn’t actually with us. It’s especially easy for us to tease people with it because he lives really close to our apt and we see him quite often. So for all you missionaries reading this, next time you call someone throw in your mission president’s name. It’s a good time!

4. I was just gonna end the email there haha, but I can’t leave this without you all feeling somewhat spiritually edified so here you go. Every night I type up a journal entry and that’s usually how I send my emails now. I just pull parts from my journal, so, here’s some pieces from my journal entry on Wednesday- 

“At 9 o’clock, we had a lesson with a named Cassandra. Oh boy. It was crazy. Not sure what I was expecting exactly but that definitely wasn’t it. 

She’s a self referral. So when Elder Morgan was with his last comp she went to comeuntochrist.org and referred herself. Well, Elder Morgan and them weren’t able to get a hold of her because she never answered the phone, but we have her address, so me and Elder Morgan decided to just swing by. Yesterday we met her and scheduled our lesson for today.

It was the craziest lesson I’ve ever taught. We were there for 2 hours. At first it was fine but still a little weird. She was getting into stuff that was irrelevant and she was taking complete control of the conversation even though we had been there to teach her. 

After 10-15 minutes, I was able to get an opening prayer in so we could start teaching her the first lesson. Man it was crazy. Some sick beats were playing in the background so I had to yell at Alexa to stop haha.

But, the very first principle of the lessons is that God is our loving heavenly father. The words had hardly escaped my mouth when she interrupted with why we were wrong. This happened for the next hour. We would try to teach her something and she would interrupt and tell us why it was wrong and what was right from her point of view. It was exhausting. Since Elder Morgan only had his Book of Mormon, she would tell me to open up to different Bible verses and all this stuff. The roles got totally swapped. She was taking over and trying to teach us. She would throw in lines like “I know you’re still learning” and “listen to what I’m trying to tell you”. It was mostly just me and her talking. Elder Morgan is a lot more quiet and reserved, and I wasn’t afraid to take her comments head on, so we were kinda just going back and forth. It was exhausting. It made me sad. My heart was pounding. 

Trying to be respectful and non-intrusive, I would say things like “we believe such and such” and “we believe this” and finally she was like “stop saying we believe. I want to know what you know.”

This made me really upset, because that’s what I’d been trying to do the whole time! But literally every time we started talking about something she would cut us off. She also said to me directly “I know that you’re shy, but don’t be afraid”.

This also made me upset, because shy is the last word I would use to describe myself. I was not scared by what she was saying in the slightest. It was honestly an incredible feeling. To have words and statements thrown at you left and right but to not be shaken by them in the slightest. I know that this was because of my testimony, particularly of the Book of Mormon. It is unshakable. After a while, I realized that she didn’t really know what she was talking about. She was just saying words and spreading noise. At first it was really loud and it was hard to think, but after a while it became easy to know how she was thinking. 

I love this lady so much, but really this is how the adversary works. Satan sends noise, confusion, distraction, and deception. It’s chaotic, and it’s there to overwhelm you. But, if you know what your foundation is, then it will have no power to overcome you. Me and Elder Morgan could not be overcome. Her technique was attack, and retreat. She would say something and then when we would try to answer or address it she wouldn’t listen and she would just throw something else out there.

Anyways, after an hour, the tension had built up, and Elder Morgan said this too, but my heart was pounding. The spirit had built up so much inside of me that I was ready to just explode. 

After she made another comment about us being afraid to tell her what we believe I said “look we want to tell you what we believe. Will you listen?” and Elder Morgan said too “yea every time we try to talk you interrupt”.

She said OK, and for a little bit, we were able to get her quiet. I then recited the account of the first vision. My hands were shaking as I said it, not because I was scared, but because my biggest desire at that moment was for her to know that what we were teaching her was true. I felt the spirit very strongly as I read that, and I know she did too, but she was denying it. 

Immediately after I finished it, she went off about Joseph Smith being a false prophet and such and such. I then remembered what I’ve heard from many friends and family members about how to deal with people who try to argue against the gospel: testify! So, I testified as hard as I could. It was exhilarating. During those two hours she had been looking at me straight in the eye, as if trying to get into my soul and get me to doubt what I believed. If I was not worthy to be a missionary for this church, and if I did not have a testimony, she would have broken me. Seriously though, I cannot imagine being out on a mission unworthily. But, I am worthy to be here, and I do know that this church is true. She stared at me as intently as she could, and I couldn’t have cared less. I could feel the spirit there. 

There were many times where I promised her that the Book of Mormon was true. One stood out in particular. She was always staring back at me, and looking directly at her I said 

“Cassandra, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ I promise you that the Book of Mormon is true.”.

It almost felt like I shouted it. It was awesome! Only looking back do I realize how powerful the spirit was. She was clearly uncomfortable. She immediately looked down at her Bible and started rummaging through her notes and muttering to herself, very uncomfortable at what had just happened. So, we repeated this process. It was dozens of times of us promising her in the name of the Almighty God that the Book of Mormon was true. Gradually, she became more and more quiet. 

I digress, but anyways, by the end of the lesson she said “you know what? Fine. I’ll read your book. But I want you guys to read it with me.”

So, it was a cool experience. The lesson there for me personally was the power of testifying. It works miracles. Without the spirit, we are literally nothing! So all of you guys, when someone bags on the church, testify the hell out of them! Like actually, keep them from going to hell by testifying. It's not swearing when used like that, don't worry. But anyhow, testifying works miracles. My testimony is so much stronger after that lesson. The past couple days I have not been afraid of testifying to strangers. It’s pretty awesome! And it’s because this church is true that it works. Also yea this is the lady who got tested  positive for covid. Also slightly annoyed she didn’t tell us she had it. 

Anyways, there’s a little taste of what went on this week. There’s more I could write, but I’m getting tired and lazy. It’s mostly just this quarantine that’s killing me. I’ve never been in like full on 100% quarantine so it’s brutal. 

A couple small things that happened this week that you can think about

• went bowling and the lanes weren’t oiled (complete waste of time and money and I’m still super mad. I don’t want to leave a bad review for the place because I’m a missionary, so if any of you would be willing to leave a bad review regarding their completely unoiled lanes and over-priced services that would be appreciated!).

• Taught a lesson to a drunk lady over the phone and invited her to be baptized and she said yes! We texted her after the phone call so she could remember that she agreed to baptism but we haven’t really heard from her since. More details will come later. 

• HEALTH UPDATE: So yes I’m still gaining weight haha but it’s all good. I’m not noticeably fat to people who didn’t know me before the mission. JK I’m really not fat. Just a bit tubby. Jaw line is less defined. Anyways, Ierb ppreciateaerb heterb rayersperb ahaherb. But I’m doing good. Especially since we can’t go shopping I’ll have time to maybe add some more veggies to my diet. But don’t worry, I’m also working out on the daily. I’m gonna be huge next time you guys see me is the plan. 

That’s about it honesty. Haha every email I write in my head I’m thinking “I have nothing to say”. Like at the beginning of almost every email I start off with “this one’s gonna be short” but then I finish writing it and realize it’s absolutely massive so then I go back and delete the line about it being a short email haha. So yeet!

Send an email if you can folks! It’s going to be a long and lonely two weeks and honestly I’m not sure how I’m gonna survive it. Shoot me an email if you can. They are all appreciated eryverb uchmerb. 

Have a great week you guys! Don’t forget that the Book of Mormon is you latter-day survival guide. Also your patriarchal blessing. If you haven’t read that in a while, go read it right now and get some direction for your life!

One last thought - even if this church wasn’t true, this is the way you want to live. This path is peaceful and safe. The path of duty is equally the path of safety. This Gospel will bring you true joy. It’s insightful to be interacting with people who made poor decision when they were my age, and now the consequences of those decisions are so apparent. They are miserable. Really. Just sad. Whether or not you believe in God or keeping his commandments, breaking those commandments only leads to misery and pain in the end. Hold on to the iron rod folks! This is the right way! And yea even if the church wasn’t true this would be the way I’d want to live my life, but, the reason this is such a happy way to live is because the church is true! Don’t forget that! Please! Don’t be dumb and walk away from the safety and peace of the Gospel because one question/concern isn’t adding up right now. It will eventually. Don’t throw away everything else you know to be true just because of one thing that isn’t making sense at the present time. It will all make sense as you push forward. 

Take people who think the earth is flat for example (like my friends George Lewis and Truman Pugsley). There was this study the flat earth society did where they found this really big lake and put a laser going from one end to the other. Well apparently the measurements were totally flat, and there was no bend. Huh. Well logically, if the earth is round, it shouldn’t be a straight line, right? Obviously the lasers would show a curve! Do you hear that and start to freak out and question about the earth being round? No! (unless your truman or george). You know the earth is round! Point is, there will always be little things that don’t seem to make complete sense at the present time, but hold on to what you know to be true. The earth is round folks, and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is the true church upon the earth. I could go on for hours about why this is true, but that’s why I’m on the mission. If I didn’t know that this is the Kingdom of God upon the earth, I wouldn’t be here.

Also, speaking of flat earthers, I saw Elder Pugsley wearing a shirt the other day that said “Flat Earth Society - We’re Not Crazy!”. Huh. Just thought that was funny.

And then on the back of the shirt it said “We have members from all around the globe.”. Hmmmmmmm.

Okay I’m actually done writing now. Just know that the church is true! Send me an email if you can! I’m lonely!

Love you all! Have a good week!!!

1) felt cute. might delete later.

2) me in my box that I mentioned earlier

3) MEME

4) and 5) One year later comparison. I looked like a hippie

6) and 7) riding to zone conference

8) Call with the best mother on the planet and her 12th child

9) picture a friend sent me of me at 12 years old when I lived in Brazil at the temple. I used to be a egendlerb.

Week 13 - A Tale of Food, Bees, Money, and oh, I ate a mountain lion

 Hey you guys! Hope you’re all chillin. This week was pretty neat! I’m doing good. I’m learning a lot about life and about myself. It’s pretty neat. Still feel like I can be doing so much better. I wish I could be the perfect missionary. I’m still a little sad that it’s taking so long to get a baptism haha. Missionary work is so hard. It’s honestly brutal. Not for the reasons I thought, but it’s tough. I just wish I could be as good a missionary as Jesus Christ was and is. That’s why I repent daily though I guess. This email is as follows----

1. The Arch

2. FOOD

3. Dolores and Clayton

4. Lunch party accident

5. G.O.A.T.E.D. facebook response

6. Book of Mormon full of cash

7. Bee War

8. Spiritual Thought/Rant

1. So last P day after my email me and the boys went to the arch! It was truly awesome. Before the arch we went to a chinese place for lunch. Since I had genuinely authentic chinese food for two weeks while I was in china, I went for their most americanized item - chicken tenders with fries. It was quite tasty. Also while we were at the chinese restaurant one of the elders was backing his car and since we always have to back cars literally all the missionaries there came out and backed the car. It’s the most legendary picture ever. I’ll attach it. Anyways, as far as the arch, I didn’t even know you could go inside so that was cool. Underneath the arch before you go in they have a museum and there was an 1830 edition of the Book of Mormon in there so that was dope! On top of the display case I left a Book of Mormon for someone to grab. Me and Elder Pugsley rode up in the arch together which was weird. We’ve been speaking a ton of ferb latin. One of the other Elder’s pulled us aside and said he was losing his mind and that we needed to either stop before he sent himself home or teach him. So, we’re teaching him! And he’s getting decent. We told him we are down to start giving him language lessons. But yea ferb latin is goated. Oh also from the top of the arch, we could see tent city! It was so sick! After we left the arch we were leaving and this homeless lady asked if our group wanted a photo. We were like “sure” but she secretly just wanted money so after the photo she was basically like “gimme money” and we were all just like . Because, as a missionary, you aren’t allowed to give or receive money (another story about that coming up soon haha). It was SO AWKWARD. We all just were looking at her at a loss for words. Also I’m pretty sure I’ve seen her at tent city, which made it even more awkward because I don’t want to offend any of its members. Maybe if I had told her that I know the governor of tent city she would have been cool with it. But it was really awkward because a bunch of us had bags of stuff we had bought in the souvenir section, so we obviously had money. I wish we had just told her we literally cannot give people money but instead we pulled the “sorry I don’t have any cash on me” card. She walked away pretty upset. I did offer a card so she could get in contact with us and I told her we could get her some food and toiletries through the bishop's storehouse but she didn’t seem to really care. 

2. Boy I’m gaining weight so darn fast. The other day after a big meal I was at 166. That’s INSANE. I was literally at 135-140 when starting online MTC. But, I am Literally gaining weight so fast. So that’s cool. I eat a ton. During the course of one of the days this past week, I ate a bowl of honey bunches with strawberries, potatoes, roast beef, carrots, a bowl of ice cream, a footlong subway sandwich with everything on it, a full plate at panda express, two things of gatorade, a couple bottles of water, a big bag of chips, milk and oreos, pieces of a cookie, bowl of rice and beans, two pieces of pizza, a slice of cake, and probably more. The sad thing is that I would be eating more but I don’t have time. Also I know that sounds extremely unhealthy but don’t worry bout it. Also we get fed so much that our fridge/freezer is full of cake, ice cream, and lots of other tasty snacks. If this was at my house back home, all of that would be gone within the hour, and several kids would still probably not get anything haha. So it’s been sad recently that we’ve had to throw some innocent food away to make room in the fridge. But yea, I’m fine. I’m not fat, it’s just filling me in. Everybody used to call me a twig so I’m making up for it haha. I asked Elder Bowles what he thought about my build and he said “you’re not fat, but you’re not skinny, and you’re not ripped, so somewhere in between all of those”. He said I don’t not look muscular though so that’s cool. But yea that’s exciting. The other day we were on a zoom call and I was eating cereal or something tasty and one of the sisters on the zoom call mentioned that my first name is “ethan” because I’m always “eatin”. I wasn’t sure whether to be flattered or offended by her comment so I just ignored it and went for another bowl of cereal. Also I was eating the other day and Elder bowles asked if I breathe in between bites. Also the other day we were on a zoom call and some sister missionaries on the zoom messaged us and said "stop eating so fast". Oh dang that also reminds me of my first zoom call with my MTC district where I was eating and one of the Elders chastened me for eating on the call. 

3. So this week we met with a guy that we had met up in tent city again! He is seriously so dope. Me, Elder Morgan, Elder Pugsley, and Elder Powell went and played frisbee with him. Also and I haven’t said this yet in any of my emails, but I’ve played quite a bit of sax out here. Long story short, people found out I played and I got a horn. My parents sent out my mouthpiece. But it’s been super good. I only use it for the gospel so don’t worry. Like a facebook video or something. But anyways our friend Clayton who we met with does music for a living so I brought my sax and we jammed for a bit. The whole goal of it was just to build a strong foundation which I think it worked. After we played frisbee and jammed, he kinda bible bashed with us haha so that was alright. BUT, the super cool thing is that he’s literally reading the Book of Mormon. He’s studying it, and we all know what happens when you study the Book of Mormon haha...so hopefully he keeps it up and gets baptized haha. Either way, he’s such an amazing dude and his scruff beard is so sick. Oh and then after the lesson with Clayton we had to give a ride to Elder Pugsley and his comp to another lesson because they don’t have a car. It was with this lady named Dolores. She’s awesome. I was sitting next to Elder Pugsley and the four of us taught her the restoration. He totally bombed the entire lesson! Haha just kidding no he did great. I was actually impressed with his teaching ability. But yea Dolores was awesome and she has a really sincere desire for the truth. Before we even taught the lesson I told her that this really is what she’s been looking for, but not to take our word for it and just ask God herself! So we’ll see what happens with that.

4. So this past week we also had a get together with like 5 zones at the cemetery we've been doing service for the past couple weeks. It was wild. Literally most of the mission was there. SO MANY MISSIONARIES. From the distance it looked like a funeral haha. white shirts, dresses, and tons of tombstones. But it was lit. Oh funny story. So Elder Pugsley has these shirts called And Collar. They are basically waterproof. I’m kind of obsessed with them btw. But I don’t have them. Anyways, they literally are waterproof. The other day I dumped orange fanta on Elder Pugsley's shirt without him noticing and it just rolled right off! He felt the pressure and turned around to me and saw the massive pile of fanta on the ground haha. Anyways, I saw another Elder me and Elder P know named Elder Hillman, and I saw that he also has And Collar. So, he let me dump some water on his shirt and it bounced right off! It was so sick! Then he was like “I have the And Collar pants too” so he let me dump it on his pants! Well, not sure what went down exactly, but those pants were NOT waterproof. I totally just dumped a bottle of water down his frontside and it looked like he just peed his pants. I was laughing so hard haha. 

5. So a good chunk of my time has been spent on facebook. Lots of people rage at me because I’m a satanic “marmon” and it’s pretty hilarious. On this facebook group I posted something saying that I have free Bibles I’d be willing to give to people and this one lady commented. I’ll attach the photo. And I absolutely destroyed her with my response haha. Me and all the Elders were laughing quite a bit.

6. So the other day we did a service project for some of my new favorite people on the planet, the Petersons. Nicest people in the whole world. I could talk about them all day but that’s not the point of this story. So for our service project we were moving stuff from Brother Petersons old office into our van and then to this lady named Sarah’s house. We packed our van (her name is Deb) so full of boxes it was insane. Still cannot believe we fit it all in there. But after we dropped the boxes off at Sarah’s house, we were walking to our cars, still on her lawn. She then pulls out this fat wad of cash and is like “thank you guys for your help” (she’s a non-member by the way).. Well, we can’t take cash. We all just stood there as she held the wad of cash. Then we started to drift off. It’s like bug repellant. I literally started kind of moaning and shrinking to the side and looking down. All of us were uncomfortable. Nobody would take it. Then again she was like “no seriously take it”. We were like “we can’t”. It was so awkward. It was like a good 15-20 seconds of her saying “take it” and us just like “uhhhhhh”. It was sooo awkward. I was cringing so hard. Then finally she went in for the kill and tried to put the cash in Elder McConnells pocket. Elder McConnol had his hands out in front of him just as he was talking, and she shoved the cash into his hand. It was so awkward! But we had the cash and we couldn’t just give it back to her. Then in the car, we saw how much it was. FOUR HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS CASH FOR MOVING BOXES FOR 2 HOURS. We were all like “aghahaghag” because maybe if it was like 5 or 10 bucks we would just use it for gas or something but what the heck are we supposed to do with 450 dollars?! We can’t take that! 

But, we were meeting back at the Petersons office for lunch. So, on the way there, I took a Book of Mormon and used the several bills she had given us as bookmarks for our favorite scriptures. We scattered the “bookmarks” (450 dollars cash) throughout the book at our favorite parts and left a little note in the front of it saying “this Book is worth more to us than anything else”. The whole plan to give her the Book of Mormon without her knowing that there was 450 dollars in it was difficult. Like really difficult. To sum it up briefly - elder bowles and mcconnell grabbed it and at the end of lunch said “hey here’s this” and then we all skrrted out of the office as fast as possible in fear that she would realize the money she had given us was hidden in the Book of Mormon. We literally sprinted out of the office. It was so stressful. We slammed the elevator button but it was coming so slow. Then we heard the door down the hall open. We thought we were about to see her in all her fury sprinting down the hallway holding the 450 dollars cash and saying “TAKE IT”, but it was just some other dude. But, it was still terrifying. The elevator took so long, but eventually we made it out alive. My heart was POUNDING. Anyways, that’s my story of giving a lady a Book of Mormon with 450 dollars cash used as bookmarks for favorite passages. (:

If she gets baptized that will be freaking legendary. We’re gonna call her next week and try to set up a lesson. She’s an amazing lady with a beautiful family. Would love to see the joy of the gospel of Jesus Christ in her life!

7. So the other day us and some other Elders did a combined lesson with this super awesome guy. His house was 30 minutes in the wilderness. I’ll attach some pics, but seriously it was so pretty going up there. It felt like we were in the mountains. It was just a long drive full of winding roads and fall trees. Super gorgeous. I snapped some pics that I’ll add. I felt like a country boy 🤠

Anyways but since we were teaching outside in the wilderness, we were under attack. Or at least I was under attack. I wanted to participate, but there were these bees flying around that scared the heck out of me. I couldn’t help myself. Every time one flew by I would jump up out of my chair and sprint out of the area. I felt like a coward haha, but hey I couldn’t help it. I remember many moons ago during my days when I was able to speak with members of the opposite gender, being on a date where we went on a hike. Several times a bee or something would fly at me and each time I would just full on sprint back down the trail. There were a couple times where I just totally dipped and left my date. And yea she was super impressed with my bravery and manners. And no that relationship didn’t work out haha. Rip!

But anywho, It was quite embarrassing. The bees would fly at me and I would sprint up and out of range, and every time I did the guy we were trying to teach would start laughing and it would just interrupt the lesson. I started interrupting so much that I decided just to stop sitting in my chair and walk around. So while everyone else was sitting in a circle of chairs, teaching and trying to invite the spirit, I was literally running back and forth behind them for a good hour. I was absolutely miserable. Also the guy's dog kept coming up for me to pet him. I made the mistake of petting him the first time so we became “friends”. I’m just not a dog person. He would come up with his drooling mouth and offset eyes and would just stare at me until I’d pet him, and if I didn’t pet him he’d get closer. Reminded me of my little siblings a bit. His breath was also extremely bad so I was grateful I had a mask. Haha that also reminds me of my little siblings. Rip! I love you guys! But anyways, basically it was over two hours of me running in circles looking like an idiot because I’m absolutely terrified of bees, and then the dog coming up for me to pet him. Not to say it wasn’t a good time, I just feel bad because I was ruining the discussion. But they were all good sports about it. The guy we were teaching is such a redneck haha he’s so awesome. The man was clapping bees in his hands like they were mosquitos! It was terrifying! But I had huge respect for him. 

8. There’s tons of other stuff that happened this week, but those are some of the stuff I think you all might enjoy. So now for some spiritual enlightenment. I didn’t really mention this in my email, but we did do a lot of teaching this week. Mostly to members, but still a lot of teaching. Yesterday we did some weekly planning and it kind of blew my mind looking at the giant list we have of potential members. All people that I’ve just talked to at the park, store, etc. Just having the courage to speak to them. I’m still not perfect at it, but I try. Like the other day we were walking outside of walmart and I said hi to this guy and he responded with “hola” so I got super hyped! We talked in spanish for a minute or so and then I totally just got his number like it was nothing. This was another skill I got in CA, just getting people’s personal information without them really knowing what’s going on. So I got his number and we’re gonna try to set something up with him later. So that’s neat. Also my spanish is doing really well! I haven’t done the best job of studying every day but lately I’ve gotten back into it some more. I’d say right now I’m at the point where I can carry any conversation just fine. Like it’s going really well. I just want to expand my vocabulary. Like when I talked to the guy at walmart (jose) I didn’t have a problem talking to him and everything just came spilling out which was great. I only wish I had more opportunities to have conversations with people in spanish. Anyways, the point is, it’s been cool to see us actually being busy. I just don’t see how I’m gonna get from talking to people to baptizing them. It’s just really hard. Missionary work is so hard! Why don’t people just accept the gospel? That reminded me of a video that my brother Joseph and friend Talmage shared with me in CA called “Missionary Work and the Atonement” on youtube. They told me it was gonna hit hard when I was a missionary, and it really did. You should go listen to it if you want haha. But that’s been difficult for me. 

Dang I have so many spiritual thoughts I could share. As far as the mission goes, nothing super insanely spiritual has happened yet, but I’ve had some super awesome personal studies. I’ll just share something I came across during personal study that I shared with a couple members already and that I think is pretty neat. 

So 3 Nephi talks about how Nephi was able to do so many miracles and how the people were angry with him because of it. It says in 3 Nephi 7:18:

"18  And it came to pass that [the people] were angry with him, even because he had greater power than they, for it were not possible that they could disbelieve his words, for so great was his faith on the Lord Jesus Christ that angels did minister unto him daily."

This is so powerful! Basically it's saying that if our faith in Jesus Christ is strong, then we can receive the daily ministering of angels. And if our faith in Jesus Christ is already strong, that means that angels are ministering unto us! Seen or not, they are there. 

It’ also been hard for me to see all the trials people have going on here. I’ll talk some more about these people in later emails, but it kinda breaks my heart looking at the trials God has given some of these people. But, like it was said in conference, the trials we experience are to test us, and see if we will choose to follow Jesus Christ. Although some of the people I’ve talked to have really hard things going on in their lives, they have a peace of mind because their foundation is on Jesus Christ! That’s what our foundation needs to be built upon. You look at the first chapter of 3 Nephi and all these “signs and wonders” are going on, but people aren’t believing them because their foundation isn’t on Jesus Christ. It says in 3 Nephi 2:1-2 

“...the people began to forget those signs and wonders which they had heard, and began to be less and less astonished at a sign or a wonder from heaven, insomuch that they began to be hard in their hearts, and blind in their minds, and began to disbelieve all which they had heard and seen-

Imagining up some vain thing in their hearts, that it was wrought by men and by the power of the devil, to lead away and deceive the hearts of he people; and thus did Satan get possession of the hearts of the people again, insomuch that he did blind their eyes and lead them away to believe that the doctrine of Christ was a foolish and vain thing”.

Man, this hits hard. Satan drives me crazy. All these miracles are happening and people just aren’t believing them because they are stupid. It’s just so sad! The same is in our day. There are so many freaking miracles going on left and right, all around us, and people choose not to believe them. Satan tries to convince them that it’s “wrought by men and by the power of the devil”. Look at the church. It’s the same way. Satan tries to persuade people that Joseph Smith was satanic, the church is satanic, missionaries are satanic, the Book of Mormon is satanic. Wake up people! Look at the good the Gospel of Jesus Christ has done for YOU! Every good thing I have in my life has come directly from living the commandments of the Gospel. Everything. Even my 243 bowling score came directly from the Gospel. Actually, prolly not. But maybe. Point is, the gospel brings so much good and so much peace, and people walk away from it because they are lazy! They just don’t love God or the Gospel enough to put in the work to be happy! It breaks my heart! I hate talking to people every day about the gospel and we’ll be like “did you read the Book of Mormon” and they’re like “ohhhh haha no sorry I was busy” and I just want to scream “WAKE UP PEOPLE! THIS IS SALVATION! THIS WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE! YOU HAVE THE TIME! WHY ARE YOU SO QUICK TO CONFORM TO THE WORLD BUT SO SLOW TO FOLLOW THE GOSPEL!”. Sorry about the all caps. But I’m kinda raging inside. I just want to slap the entire world spiritually and get them to see what matters most!!!!! If the prophets in the Book of Mormon could have written in all caps I’m sure they would have haha. But I am just so so sad for people who walk away from the gospel because they have one question that doesn’t seem to add up so they abandoned everything that they knew to be true. You guys, stop playing around. You KNOW this church is true. I know that you know it. If this wasn’t the kingdom of God on the earth, you would not be here!!! You KNOW that the Book of Mormon is true! Why do you try to talk yourself out of something so good and so wonderful? Why are you (as nephi says) “swift to do iniquity but slow to remember the Lord your God”? I just cannot believe how much patience Jesus Christ has with the world. We are so wicked, so pathetic, and so slow to keep the commandments. His reward to us is ALWAYS greater than the cost. I could go on forever haha but I’m actually going bowling soon so gotta wrap this up. But you guys! Don’t let one little question you have about the church ever keep you from leaving the gospel. This is the tree of life, this is peace, this is comfort, this is joy. In the coming days, you can NOT have one foot in and one foot out of the church. You gotta be all in or all out, and all in is the way to go. It’s like president Ezra Taft Benson said “Only the gospel will save the world from the calamity of its own self-destruction, Only the gospel will unite men of all races and nationalities in peace. Only the gospel will bring joy, happiness, and salvation to the human family.”.

You guys, everything you need is in the gospel. Answers are everywhere! But the Lord is not just gonna give it to you if you don’t struggle for a little bit! We are here to struggle! We are on earth to have questions! To be tested! Ether 12:6! 

“Faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith.”

Be grateful for the trial of faith! It is what’s gonna get you a strong and lasting testimony anyways! I promise you that this is a test, to see if we will choose to follow JESUS CHRIST like we said we would premortally. The answer seems obvious to me. It’s a bingo! JESUS CHRIST. Why don’t we all just follow Christ? Why is it so hard? Why don’t people just embrace the gospel they know to be true?

I don’t really know the answer to these questions, but I do know that life is a test. Don’t be the person who realizes the Gospel is true at the last second. Be the person who always knew! Do you guys know how many people are just dying to know what you know!? That’s also what’s hard about growing up in the church. People get so accustomed to the amazing environment of the church and the gospel. They are always feeling the spirit, so they never really have the opportunity to see how bad and sad most of the world actually is. So, some people leave the church and attempt to find something as good as what we have here: but they do not find it. There is NOTHING else on this earth that will bring the peace and joy that the gospel does. Don’t go trying to find something better, because you wont! Truly! You will NOT. Don’t waste your time and leave the tree of life to find something that’s non existent. Sure there’s truth outside the church, and here and there you may find something that makes you feel good, but you will never be satisfied, because the fullness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ is right here. You’ve already felt it. Don’t leave it. Don’t talk yourself out of something just because it seems too good to be true. 

Man I could really go on forever, but I gotta wrap this up. But you guys, please please please remember that the gospel is where you need to be at. I’m ranting at you guys because I’m too scared to start raging at the people we’re teaching haha. But a testimony of the gospel and the truthfulness of all this comes from the Book of Mormon. Cheesy answer, but so dang true. The other day I got so fired up with my testimony of the Book of Mormon and so annoyed at the world for not believing and accepting these things that I totally ranted in my journal. This is what I wrote:

“The Book of Mormon is true. Let it be recorded on earth and among the angels in heaven, that I, Ethan Kimball Wride, know without a doubt that the Book of Mormon is true. Anybody who is questioning it’s truthfulness is not diligently or prayerfully studying. They are spending more time with the things of this world than with God. If you want a testimony, READ THE **** THING! Stop complaining to God that you need answers when you haven’t done all YOU can! The Lord wants you to feel it’s true, but he’s not just gonna do it if you aren’t doing your part. Stop being lazy, and go read. You know it’s true.”.

You guys, I know the Book of Mormon is true. It is SO OBVIOUS to me. I know it in my mind, and in my heart. Logically, I know it’s true. I mean, come on. Translated in 60 days? Joseph Smith had no education? It’s written in the style of different authors? 11 witness testified they saw the plates their entire lives even though six of them left the church? It’s a no brainer. And then reading it, you really know that it is true. You feel it. When I read the Book of Mormon, I am filled from head to toe with the spirit. And I hear it all the time where people are like “oh well that’s just your brain sending good vibes” or something like that, but it is SO MUCH MORE than just a good feeling! You don’t just get a warm and fuzzy feeling and leave your family for two years to preach about a book. And then look at those in early church history! They read it, felt it was true, and then from a worldy standpoint, ruined their entire lives because of it. They were driven from place to place, treated as outcasts, and many were killed. So much sacrifice and for what? A Book? It’s not just a good feeling you get when you read the Book of Mormon. It is the Spirit of God testifying to you that what you’re reading is true. Believe that you guys. Don’t talk yourself out of something just because it’s too good to be true. Reminds me of a scripture I read the other day and just loved. 

Mosiah 4:9

“Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend.”.

I could go on for hours about why I know this is true, and I can shove information at you guys all day, but at the end of the day, it comes down to whether or not you are willing to do the work to obtain that testimony. Nonetheless, take my word for it. It is all true. I promise that it is. If you’re struggling with your testimony, rely on mine, or the other several million people in the church who know of the surety of these things just as strongly as I do. And, in time, you will also get your testimony. The best thing you can do to receive that testimony today, is to read from the Book of Mormon. I promise you, as a representative of Jesus Christ, that as you do so, you will feel the truthfulness of it both in your mind and in your heart. And I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, AMEN. 

Sorry that I kinda just went off. Had to get that off my chest. That’s just how I’ve been feeling lately. But anyways, doubt anybody made it this far but if you did, you deserve a gold star!

I hope you all have a fantastic week and remember what matters most is right in front of you. Don’t let it pass you by! 

Love you guys! Stay sober!!!

and oh, I ate a mountain lion. A member hunted and killed it and then fed it to us. He also had it stuffed so we got to take a picture with the mountain lion we ate haha. So that was neat.

Enjoy.

Also, and I say this every week, but I do not even remember what I said in this email. If you are offended by anything I said, I sincerely apologize haha. I kinda just write whatever pops into my head each week but I will do better. Thanks guys!